Email Junks

I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she’s interested in, she said: Check books.
The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.
What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
My wife thinks “freedom of the press” means no-iron clothes.
Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh! Santa: Control urself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper. Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper? French: Toilette pepper!
Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don’t see any other way to marry your daughter
Santa & Banta were walking in the highlands then suddenly Santa fell down in a deep hole. Banta: Are you ok? Santa: Fine thanks! Banta: Did you break anything? Santa: No, there’s nothing down here!
Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir. Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
Santa always leave an empty milk carton in the refrigerator just in case someone wants their coffee black.
Santa falls in luv with a nurse… After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: “I luv u sister.”
Q: Why dogs don’t marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. ‘Anything new at work?’ He replied, ‘No, I’m teaching History.’
Q: What’s the diff between mother & wife? A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why? Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.
Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road. Change it to exclamatory sentence. Student: WOW !
Your daddy must be a terrorist because you’re a BOMB!
Santa in an antique shop, “Do you have anything new?”

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